Quip Snips

Quip Snips

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The British coal strike now is more than six months old.
But so far as we know supplies haven't gotten so low that they're down to the monotuminous variety....
Reports from the first days of school indicate some new additions to our kids' classe
Four boys, three girls, two Jerks, nine nerds and a couple of real hunks....
The number of small farms in the U.S. is rising. Good. We're trying to eat smaller portions.
One of the new fall TV shows features a 300 mph motorcycle.
We figure it's used either by a crime fighter or a presidential candidate, and we're afraid to ask....
The only thing sure about the baseball season: It'll end too soon--weeks before the presidential campaign is over.
A group thinks Michael Jackson is the Messiah returned.
This time, obviously, He's upped His ticket prices....
Israel is having trouble forming a new government. The trouble here, by contrast, is reforming the old one.
Gerry Ferraro is proving a more exciting campaigner than Fritz Mondale.
To have avoided that, Mr. Mondale would have had to run with, uh, Mr. Mondale....
Frank Sinatra says he's been insulted and no longer will perform in New Jersey.
We're making a list of performers we'd like our governor to insult....
Scientists say a big earthquake, centered in Southeast Missouri, is sure to come some day.
Don't look at us. It's not our fault....

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