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• And that's a wrap!
• Before you attack her, wrap your whacker.
• Get rid of aunts: Zap does the job in 24 hours. Toaste
  A gift that every member of the family appreciates. Automatically burns toast....
• Q: Why should you wrap your pet hamster in electrical tape?
  A: So it won't explode when you fuck it....
• Memos On The Company's Christmas Party FROM: Pat Smith, Human Resources Director TO
  Everyone RE: Christmas Party DATE: December 1 I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23, starting at noon in the banquet room at Luigi's Open Pit Barbecue....
• As the following classified classics will demonstrate, there are often more laughs on the advertising and classified pages than you can find in the cartoons and comic strip
  -Lost: small apricot poodle. Reward. Neutered....
• Ways To Send Packages During the UPS Strike 15> Use FedEx's new "Not Very Important" class.
  14> Looks like that battalion of army ants you've been training can be used for more than just conquering the world....
• Deep in December it's nice to remember.....
• Captain Condom says: "Wrap that Rascal".