Related:

• Things you never hear people say: Please saw my legs off.
• Things You Don't Want To Hear When Lying On The Operating Table
  "Hand me that...uh...that uh.....thingie...
• Things to think about.... -Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
  -It's a dog eat dog world out there. And they're short on napkins....
• Things that annoy me: -The Pillsbury doughboy is way too happy considering he has no genitals.
  -When something is "new and improved", which is it?...
• George Carlinisms: ** How come wrong numbers are never busy?
  ** Do people in Australia call the rest of the world "up over"?...
• One Liners If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
  A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer....
• REDNECK ETIQUETTE - Redneck Driving Etiquette - Dim your headlights for approaching vehicles, even if the gun is loaded and the deer is in sight.
  When approaching a four-way stop, the vehicle with the largest tires always has the right of way....
• Fun Things To Do To Telemarketers: ** Turn on the TV.
  Change the channel to one that only gets static. Turn the volume up really loud....
• The ark lands after The Flood. Noah lets all the animals out.
  Says, "Go and multiply." Several months pass. Noah decides to check up on the animals....