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BOFH Excuses
We had to turn off that service to comply with the CDA Bill.
Ionization from the air-conditioning
TCP/IP UDP alarm threshold is set too low.
Someone is broadcasting pygmy packets and the router doesn't know how to deal with them.
The new frame relay network hasn't bedded down the software loop transmitter yet.
Fanout dropping voltage too much, try cutting some of those little trace
Plate voltage too low on demodulator tube
You did wha... oh _dear_....
CPU needs bearings repacked
Too many little pins on CPU confusing it, bend back and forth until 10-20% are neatly removed.
Do _not_ leave metal bits visible!...
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