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• If you can't hear me, it's because I'm in parentheses. -- Stephen Wrigh
• I saw a tree fall in the woods, and I didn't hear it. -- Steven Wrigh
• Today I...........No, that wasn't me. -- Steven Wrigh
• Some people think George is weird, because he has sideburns behind his ears.
  I think George is weird, because he has false teeth....
• My grandfather gave me a watch. It doesn't have any hands or numbers.
  He says it's very accurate. I asked him what time it was....
• I went into this bar and sat down next to a pretty girl.
  She looked at me and said, "Hey, you have two different colored socks on....
• Yesterday I bought a decaffeinated coffee table. And you can tell by looking at it.
  -- Steven Wrigh...
• I love to go shopping. I love to freak out salespeople.
  They ask me if they can help me, and I say, "Have you got anything I'd like?...
• The other day I.... No, that wasn't me. -- comedian Steven Wrigh