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If You Ever Reach Total Enlightenment While You're Drinking A Beer, I Bet It Makes Beer Shoot Out Your Nose.
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If you ever reach total enlightenment while you're drinking a beer, I bet it
makes beer shoot out your nose.
-- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey
Related:
If you're a young Mafia gangster out on your first date, I bet it's really embarrassing if someone tries to kill you.
-- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey...
If there's ever an amusement park called Bag World, I bet it would really start to annoy you after a while how they really sort of stretch the definition of "bag.
-- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey...
I bet it was pretty hard to pick up girls if you had the Black Death.
-- Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey...
I bet the sparrow looks at the parrot and thinks, yes, you can talk, but LISTEN TO YOURSELF!
-- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey...
I bet a funny thing about driving a car off a cliff is, while you're in midair, you still hit those brakes!
Hey, better try the emergency brake! -- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey...
If you're ever shipwrecked on a tropical island and you don't know how to speak the natives' language, just say "Poppy-oomy.
I bet it means something. -- Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey...
If you're a cowboy, and you're dragging a guy behind your horse, I bet it would really make you mad if you looked back and the guy was reading a magazine.
-- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey...
If you wear a toupee, why not let your friends try it on for a while?
Come on, we're not going to hurt it. -- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey...
If you ever go temporarily insane, don't shoot somebody, like a lot of people do.
Instead, try to get some weeding done, because you'd really be surprised....