Related:

• If they have moving sidewalks in the future, when you get on them, I think you should have to assume sort of a walking shape so as not to frighten the dogs.
  -- Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey...
• People just naturally assume that dogs would be incapable of working together on some sort of construction project.
  But what about just a big field full of holes? -- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey...
• It's too bad that whole families have to be torn apart by something as simple as wild dogs.
  -- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey...
• People think it would be fun to be a bird because you could fly.
  But they forget the negative side, which is the preening. -- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey...
• I hope if dogs ever take over the world, and they choose a king, they don't just go by size, because I bet there are some Chihuahuas with some good ideas.
  -- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey...
• I wish scientists would come up with a way to make dogs a lot bigger, but with a smaller head.
  That way, they'd still be good as watchdogs, but they wouldn't eat as much....
• I think when you go on trial they should have a parrot there that says guilty or not guilty for you, as a sort of courtesy.
  -- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey...
• Many people never stop to realize that a tree is a living thing, not that different from a tall, leafy dog that has roots and is very quiet.
  -- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey...
• I think in one of my previous lives I was a mighty king, because I like people to do what I say.
  -- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey...