Related:

• Three rules for sounding like an expert: 1. Oversimplify your explanations to the point of uselessness.
  2. Always point out second-order effects, but never point out when they can be ignored....
• 1) Never try anything with tomatoes in it. 2) Never try anything bigger than your head.
  3) Never, NEVER try anything that looks like vomit....
• 1) If a tarpaulin can flap, it will. (2) If a small boy can get dirty, he will.
  (3) If a teenager can go out, he will. -- Three Rules of Immutability...
• Immutability, Three Rules of: (1) If a tarpaulin can flap, it will.
  (2) If a small boy can get dirty, he will. (3) If a teenager can go out, he will....
• The three rules of international air travel: (1) Never fly on Aeroflot if you can possibly avoid it (this used to be Braniff or Aeroflot).
  (2) Never bet a whole lot of money on two little pairs unless you know *exactly* what you're doing....
• 1. Always state motions in as complex a fashion as humanly possible.
  2. Allow 3 minutes to count the ayes, and one second the noes....
• When you point your finger cause your plans fell through you've got three more fingers pointing back at you.
  -- Mark Knopfle...
• When you point your finger 'cause your plan fell through You got three more fingers pointing back at you!
  -- Mark Knoppfle...
• Barber's Laws of Backpacking 1) The integral of the gravitational potential taken around any loop trail you choose to hike always comes out positive.
  2) Any stone in your boot always migrates against the pressure gradient to exactly the point of most pressure....