Miscellaneous Collections

Miscellaneous Collections

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1) Take an old record album cover. 2) Fill the insides with shaving cream.
3) Place it halfway under a locked door to the victim's office, home, room, etc....
1. That's the way we've always done it around here.
2. I'm so busy, I just forgot. 3. It didn't appear that important....
(1) The boss is always right. (2) When the boss is wrong, refer to rule 1. -- Rule
1) The check is in the mail 2) Of course I'll respect you in the morning 3) I'm from the government and I'm here to help you.
-- The three least credible sentences in the English language...
1. The more proficient one is at procrastination, the less proficient one need be at all else.
2. The slower one works, the fewer mistakes one makes. -- Doane's Laws of Procrastinatio...
1) The most powerful force in the world is that of a disc straining to land under a car, just out of reach (this force is technically termed "car suck").
2) Never precede any maneuver by a comme...
1. The probability of a cat eating its dinner has absolutely nothing to do with the price of the food placed before it.
2. The probability that a household pet will raise a fuss to go in or out is di...
1) There is nothing more permanent than a temporary building.
(2) There is nothing more permanent than a temporary tax. -- Mix's Law...
1) "The Toasteroven of Shanara" by Terry Brooks: The latest in the famed series of fantasy novels, this one has the forces of good and evil battling over kitchen appliances of awesome power.
1) The voters want fewer taxes and more spending. (2) Citizens want honest politicians until they want something fixed.
(3) Constituency drives out consistency (i.e., liberals defend military spendi...

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