Quotations By Famous People

Quotations By Famous People

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To me, clowns aren't funny. In fact, they're kind of scary.
I've wondered where this started, and I think it goes back to the time I went to the circus, and a clown killed my dad....
You know what would make a good story? Something about a clown who makes people happy, but inside he's real sad.
Also, he has severe diarrhea....
Sometimes when I feel like killing someone, I do a little trick to calm myself down.
I'll go over to the person's house and ring the doorbell....
I'd like to see a nude opera, because when they hit those really high notes, I bet you can really see it in those genitals.
If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is "God is crying.
And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is "probably because of something you did....
One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my little nephew to Disneyland, but instead I drove him to an old burned-out warehouse.
Oh, no," I said, "Disneyland burned dow...
When I was a kid, my favourite relative was Uncle Caveman.
After school we'd all go play in his cave, and every once in awhile he would eat one of us....
In weightlifting, I don't think sudden, uncontrolled urination should automatically disqualify you.
When the age of the Vikings came to a close, they must have sensed it.
Probably, they gathered together one evening, slapped each other on the back and said, "Hey, good job....
Here's a good joke to do during an earthquake: straddle a big crack in the ground, and if it opens wider, go "Whoa!
Whoa!" and flail your arms around, like you're going to fall in....

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