Related:

• You have reached 911, all representatives are currently busy.
• Hi, kids! You've reached the Krusty Hot-Line! If you haven't asked your parent's permission, naughty-naughty!
  But Krusty forgives you. ($2 for the first minute, 50 cents for each additional minute....
• Man: Don't you worry. Your family's going to be here before you know it.
  Patient: Forget it, pal. There's only one way out of here, and it ain't pretty....
• Doctor: Mrs. Simpson, I'm sorry, but your husband suffers from a persecution complex, extreme paranoia, and bladder hostility.
  Marge: Doctor, if you just talk to him for five minutes without mentioning our son Bart, you'd see how sane he is....
• Bart jots down a message] Uh huh. New Bedlam Asylum.
  Loves us. Needs us. Fears he may never see us again....
• Homer: [on the phone with Bart] I'm bringing Michael Jackson home to stay with us for a few days.
  [aside] Isn't that cute, he's heard of you....
• Burns: Doctor, what should we do about our freewheeling fop over here?
  Monroe: Well, Monty, it used to be that establishing a patient's sanity took months....
• Man: Hello? Who's this? Bart: I'm Bart Simpson. Who the hell are you?
  Man: I'm Michael Jackson. -- Bart answers the phone, "Stark Raving Dad...
• Hello. All of our operators are busy right now, but if you'll leave your name, telephone number, a brief message, and the time you called, we'll get back to you as soon as possible.
  Thank you and have a pleasant day. (This can dissuade prank and sales callers who don't know it's really a private line....