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• eading off a teleprompter] Webster's dictionary defines excellence as "the state or condition of being excellent.
  And now, the winner of the First Annual Montgomery Burns Award for Outstanding Achievement in the Field of Excellence....
• Why did this have to happen now, during prime time, when TV's brightest stars come out to shine?
  -- Homer Simpson Brother Can You Spare Two Dimes?...
• Why did this have to happen now during prime time, when TV's brightest stars come out to shine?
  -- Homer laments the fate of the couch, "Brother, Can You Spare Two Dimes?...
• Homer: I can't believe we spent $2,000 on this when right now rollers could be kneading my buttocks.
  Herb: Homer, would you stop thinking about your ass?...
• Homer: All right, who did this? Bart: We were just sitting on the couch quietly chatting when we heard a creaking noise.
  Lisa: We leapt off just in time to see it collapse....
• I think we should get a machine gun. We can use it to hunt game, spell out things, or ring in the New Year!
  -- Bart, "Brother, Can You Spare Two Dimes?...
• Herb: Now I bet you're all wondering what lies under this sheet.
  Bart: Not really. We snuck a peek while you were in the john....
• Homer: [crossing fingers] Please, please, please, please, please!
  Lisa: Dad, you know you won! Homer: Don't jinx it! -- "Brother, Can You Spare Two Dimes?...
• The dream is over! -- Homer laments the fate of the couch, "Brother, Can You Spare Two Dimes?