Things A Man Would Never Say:

- I think Barry Manilow is one cool dude.
- While I'm up, can I get YOU a beer?
- I think hairy butts are really sexy.
- Her boobs are just way too big.
- Sometimes I just want to be held.
- That chick on Murder She Wrote gives me a woody.
- Sure I'd love to wear a condom.
- We haven't been to the mall for ages, let's go shopping and I can hold your purse.
- Fuck Monday Night Football, let's watch Murphy Brown.
- I think we are lost, we better pull over ands ask for directions.


Things A Woman Would Never Say:

- Could our relationship be more physical? I'm tired of just being friends.
- Go ahead and leave the seat up, doesn't bother me at all!
- I think hairy butts are really sexy.
- Hey, get a whiff of that one.
- Please don't throw that old T-shirt away, the holes in the armpit are just too cute.
- This diamond is way too big!
- I won't even put my lips on that thing unless I get to swallow.
- Wow, five inches is just too much for me!
- Does this make my butt look too small?
- I'm wrong, you must be right again.