Related:

• How about that footage on the news yesterday of our new Commander-in- Chief on the deck of the aircraft carrier (Teddy Roosevelt?
  ).. After throwing one of his snappy salutes (he's *almost* got that down), I half expected him to give the order, "Let's turn this thang around....
• RACIAL/ETHNIC There were these two men drinking together in a bar.
  One was of Chinese extraction, the other Jewish....
• Not so famous quotes Ah yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.
  --Robin Williams Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself....
• NEWS BULLETIN - Men and women are NOT alike. Sure, you thought you already knew that.
  But now we have proof! After countless hours of surveys and studies on the following topics, these facts have emerged...
• How many accountants does it take to change a light bulb?
  (Whispering voice:) "What do you WANT it to be?" How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?...
• NEWS FLASH - Men And Women Are NOT Alike Sure, you thought you already knew that.
  But now we have proof! After countless hours of surveys and studies on the following topics, these facts have emerged...
• I thought you'd all like to hear about the potential candidates meeting with the Wizard of Oz.
  .. First, President Bush went to see the Wizard and said, "Everyone says I have no compassion or feelings, I wish to have a Heart"....
• Before 'perestroika' an American and a Soviet were talking about freedom in their coutries.
  In the United States," said the American, "you can go right up to the White House gate and yell, 'The President is an idiot,' and no one will do anything to you....
• Hilarious Flight Information from the Airline Employees Occasionally, airline attendants make an effort to make the "in-flight safety lecture" and their other announcements a bit more entertaining.
  Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported...