Jokes From Emails

Jokes From Emails

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Actual Caddy Quotes? Golfer: "I've played so poorly all day
I think I'm going to go drown myself in that lake....
Movie Prices For the first time in many years, a an old man traveled from his rural town to the city to attend a movie.
After buying his ticket, he stopped at the concession stand to purchase some pop...
Writing Techniques: ** Avoid alliteration. Always. ** Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
** Avoid clich's like the plague. (They're old hat.) ** Parenthetical remarks (however relevant)...
Murphy's laws of combat operations... ** Friendly fire - isn't.
** Recoilless rifles - aren't. ** If it's stupid but it works, it isn't stupid....
WHY DOGS ARE BETTER THAN WOMEN ** Dogs don't cry (unless they have to pee).
** Dogs love it when your friends come over. ** Dogs think you sing great....
Parent Definitions... AMNESIA: condition that enables a woman who has gone through labor to have kids again.
DEFENSE: what you'd better have around the yard if you're going to let the children play ou...
Today in the Stock Market: Helium was up, feathers were down.
Paper was stationary. Fluorescent tubing was dimmed in light trading....
HOW TO FIGURE OUT IF YOU ARE REALLY A REDNECK: ** You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.
** You can entertain yourself for more than an hour with a flyswatter. ** The Salvation A...
Executive Fantasy A rich business executive sees an ad in the Wall Street Journal for the world's fastest and most expensive car, the Tri-Turbo Convertible Fantasy.
It costs over $1 million. The mogul...
Evaluation Comments... Some of you might like to know what the supervisor is really saying in all those glowing employee work performance evaluations s/he keeps cranking out.
Comment: AVERAGE Really M...

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