Related:

• Give up on aerobics. Aside from the problem of how to wear the leotards, or just how you plan to do star jumps, there's not going to be a lot of air where you're going to be.
  Experiment with hydrobics instead. -- Forty-two things to do as preparation for life as a mermaid....
• Discover that you *can* eat seaweed. -- Forty-two things to do as preparation for life as a mermaid.
• If you like riding horses, consider going back to the traditional side-saddle mode.
  You will fall off far less. -- Forty-two things to do as preparation for life as a mermaid....
• Sell your mountain-side chalet. You never used it much anyway.
  -- Forty-two things to do as preparation for life as a mermaid....
• Try to appreciate sex with your knees tied together.
  (This may be slightly more challenging if you are female....
• Donate your shoe collection to Imelda Marcos. -- Forty-two things to do as preparation for life as a mermaid.
• Don't settle for anything less than a Seiko Sports 100.
  -- Forty-two things to do as preparation for life as a mermaid....
• Don't trust seagulls to explain anything. It's a *fork*, and don't forget it.
  -- Forty-two things to do as preparation for life as a mermaid....
• Don't worry about ladders in your stockings. -- Forty-two things to do as preparation for life as a mermaid.