Related:

• You're as much use as a condom machine at the Vatican. -- Rimmer to Holly in Red Dwarf 'Queeg'
• Lister, if two people came to you for a job, and one of them's dead, which one would you choose?
  -- Rimmer in Red Dwarf 'Queeg'...
• Cat: Look at my hands, I had lovely hands. Liste
  Well wear the smegging gloves. Cat: (picking up gloves) Marigold with blue?...
• Lister: We used to be your shipmates. Rimmer: Only .
  .. we've forgotten you. Lister: Yeah. Rimmer: [to Cat] Well, I don't know about you, but I'm convinced....
• Cat: If it's any help, I've been studying his tactics and there's a pattern emerging
  Every time you make a move, he makes one too (winks to Holly)....
• I had this Geography teacher Miss Foster, she took us on a school summer camp trip to the Ganwee.
  I had the tent next to her, right. And in the middle of the night I was woken up by this really weird noise....
• Oh and sir, you're wrong. We won't be apart. We just won't be together.
  I cannot believe I just said that. -- Rimmer, talking about Nirvana in Red Dwarf 'Holoship'...
• Lister: Look at what he's given me for dinner: a pea on toast.
  One pea. I tell you, I'm that far from cracking....
• hortly after Lister has been turned into a chicken) Ca
  The question is: Can we turn him back again? Rimme...