Son : Pop... what is the
Ramayan stuff that all my friends in school talk about..
Pop : So, like this dude had, like, a big cool kingdom and people liked
him.  But, like, his step mom, or somethin', was kind of a bitch, and she
forced her husband to, like, you know, send this cool dude, he was Ram, to some
national forest or reserve or somethin'.
Since he was going, for like, somethin'
like more than 10 years or so, he decided to take his wife and his bro along. 
You know... so that they could all chill out together.  But dude, the
forest was reeeeeeal scary shit, really man, they had monkeys and devils and
shit like that.  
But this dude, Ram, kicked their ass with darts, bows and
arrows, so it was fine.  But then some bad boys, some jerk called Ravan, picks up his babe (Sita) and lures her away to his hood. And boy, were
our man, and his bro Lakshman, pissed!  And you don't piss this son-of-a-gunz
'coz, he just kicks ass and like, all the gods were with him.  
So anyways,
you don't mess with gods.  So, Ram and his bro get an army of monkeys. 
Dude, don't ask me how they trained the damn monkeys, just go along with me, 
OK.  So, Ram, Lakhs, and their monkeys whip this gansta's ass in his own
hood.  Anyways, by now, their time's up in the forest and anyways, it gets
kinda boring.  You know no TVs or malls or shit like that.  So, they decided to hitch back home.  He, his bro and the wife are back home.  

People thought, well, you know, at least they deserve somethin' nice and they
didn't have any bars and clubs in those days.  So they couldn't take them
out for a drink, so the people decided to smoke.  And they also had some
lamps, they lit the lamps too.  So it was pretty cooool... you know with
all those fireworks really, they had some local band play along with the
fireworks, and you know what, dude, that was the very first, no kidding, that was
the very first musical-synchronized fireworks.  You know, like the 4th of
the July stuff, but just more cooler and stuff, you know.  
And, so dude,
that was how, like, this festival started.  Cool!!!  Diwali Rocks
Maaaan!  Got it...