Cigarette :
A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool on the
other.

Divorce :
Future tense of marriage.

Lecture :
An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the

notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either"

Conference :
The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

Compromise :
The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got
the
biggest piece.

Tears :
The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by
feminine
water power...

Dictionary :
A place where success comes before work.

Conference Room :
A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees
later
on.

Classic :
A book which people praise, but do not read.

Smile :
A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

Office :
A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

Yawn :
The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.