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Miscellaneous Jokes
Old soldiers never die. Young ones do.
The older a man gets, the farther he had to walk to school as a boy.
Hartley's First Law: You can lead a horse to water, but if you can get him to float on his back, you've got something.
Cole's Law: Thinly sliced cabbage.
A conservative is one who is too cowardly to fight and too fat to run.
Show respect for age. Drink good Scotch for a change.
Frisbeetarianism: The belief that when you die, your soul goes up the on roof and gets stuck.
The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your action.
Bacchus: A convenient deity invented by the ancients as an excuse for getting drunk.
Winston Churchill: "I like pigs. Dogs look up to us.
Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals....
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