Best Fortunes

Best Fortunes

Home › Fortune Cookies › Best Fortunes

And then there's the guy who bought 20,000 bras, cut them in half, and sold 40,000 yamalchas with chin straps .
.....
Anxiety, n.: The first time you can't do it a second time.
Panic, n.: The second time you can't do it the first time....
Approximately 80% of our air pollution stems from hydrocarbons released by vegetation, so let's not go overboard in setting and enforcing tough emissions standards from man-made sources.
-- Ro...
Back in the good ole days in Texas, when stagecoaches and the like was popular, there were three people in a stagecoach one day
a true red- blooded born-and-raised Texas gentleman, a tenderfoot ci...
Baltimore, n.: Where the women wear turtleneck sweaters to hide their flea collars.
Bankers do it with interest (penalty for early withdrawal).
Based on what you know about him in history books, what do you think Abraham Lincoln would be doing if he were alive today?
(1) Writing his memoirs of the Civil War. (2) Advising the Preside...
Be prepared... that's the Boy Scout's solemn creed.
Be prepared... to be clean in word and deed. Don't solicit for your sister, that's not nice, Unless you get a good percentage of her price ....
Behold the unborn fetus and Weep salt tears crocodilia
All life is sacred (save, of course, An enemy civilian)....
Being stoned on marijuana isn't very different from being stoned on gin. -- Ralph Nade

< previous

5

6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
37
next >