Best Fortunes

Best Fortunes

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Condoms are like listening to a symphony with cotton in your ears.
Conservative, n.: One who admires radicals centuries after they're dead. -- Leo C. Roste
Conserve energy -- make love more slowly.
Cunnilingus is next to godliness.
Dammit, how many times do I have to tell you? _____FIRST you rape, ____THEN you pillage!
!...
Dear Lord, observe this bended knee This visage meek and humble, And hear this confidential plea Voiced in reverent mumble
Give me Shylock, give me Fagin But O God spare me Ronald Reagan! ...
Dear Mr. Seldes: I cannot remember the exact wording of the statement to which you allude
but what I meant was that ......
Democracy can learn some things from Communism: for example, when a Communist politician is through, he is through.
Democracy means simply the bludgeoning of the people by the people for the people.
-- Oscar Wilde...
Did you hear about the new German microwave oven? ... Seats 500.

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