Jokes From Emails

Jokes From Emails

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uicide --- I once tried to commit suicide by jumping off a building.
.. I changed my mind at the last minute, so I just flipped over and landed on my feet....
books --- I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything.
What's another word for Thesaurus? Why is the alphabet in that order?...
miscellaneous one-liners --- After they make styrofoam, what do they ship it in?
Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time....
My dental hygienist is cute. Every time I visit, I eat a whole package of Oreo cookies while waiting in the lobby.
Sometimes she has to cancel the rest of the afternoon's appointments. One day I...
Here are my categories, with examples (his): ENGLISH
I had some eyeglasses. I was walking down the street when suddenly the prescription ran out....
At a party, a snobbish gentleman is trying to impress her.
I just can't bear fools" he says. To this comes an instant reply "Obviously your mother did"....
So Gorbachev (sp?) decided that now that he was on top, it was time to impress his ancient mother.
He sent his private helicopter out to the small town where she lived to pick her up....
One Pole: Are the Russians our friends or our brothers?
Second Pole: I give up. First Pole: Our brothers - you get to choose your friends....
Syadov walks into the Moscow health clinic and asks to see an ear-and-eye doctor.
Qualifying Examination Instructions: Read each question carefully.
Answer all ques- tions. Time Limit - 4 hours. Begin immediately....

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