Jokes From Emails

Jokes From Emails

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houses --- In my house there's this light switch that doesn't do anything.
Every so often I would flick it on and off just to check....
cars and driving --- For a while I didn't have a car.
.. I had a helicopter... no place to park it, so I just tied it to a lamp post and left it running....
leeping --- I can remember the first time I had to go to sleep.
Mom said, "Steven, time to go to sleep." I said, "But I don't know how....
ocks --- I got up one morning and couldn't find my socks, so I called Information.
She said, "Hello, Information." I said, "I can't find my socks....
ecords --- I bought a self learning record to learn Spanish.
I turned it on and went to sleep; the record got stuck....
fishing --- Last year I went fishing with Salvador Dali.
He was using a dotted line. He caught every other fish....
dogs --- I bought a dog the other day... I named him Stay.
It's fun to call him... "Come here, Stay! Come here, Stay!...
chemistry --- If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.
(Referring to a glass of water:) I mixed this myself....
childhood --- I was born by Caesarian section... but not so you'd notice.
It's just that when I leave a house, I go out through the window....
ot-all-there --- You know how it is when you're reading a book and falling asleep, you're reading, reading.
.. and all of a sudden you notice your eyes are closed? I'm like that all the time...

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