Limericks

Limericks

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There was a young girl who begat Three brats, by name Nat, Pat, and Tat.
It was fun in the breeding But hell in the feeding, When she found there was no tit for Tat....
There was a young lady of Maine Who declared she'd a man on the brain.
But you knew from the view Of the way her waist grew, It was not on her brain that he'd lain....
There once was a floozie named Annie Whose prices were cosy -- but canny
A buck for a fuck, Fifty cents for a suck, And a dime for a feel of her fanny....
There was a young lady from Cue Who filled her vagina with glue.
She said with a grin, "If they pay to get in, They`ll pay to get out of it too....
A harlot of note named Le Dux Would always charge seventy bucks, But for that she would suck you, And wink-off and fuck you -- The whole thing was simply de luxe!
There was an old whore named McGee Who was just the right sort for a spree.
She said, "For a fuck I charge half a buck, And I throw in the ass-hole for free....
A licentious old justice of Salem Used to catch all the harlots and jail 'em.
But instead of a fine He would stand them in line, With his common-law tool to impale 'em....
Ethnologists up with the Sioux Wired home for two punts, one canoe.
The answer next day Said, "Girls on the way, But what the hell`s a `panoe`?...
There once was a harlot at Yale With her price-list tattooed on her tail, And on her behind, For the sake of the blind, She had it embroidered in Braille.
There was a young lady at sea Who said, "God, how it hurts me to pee.
"I see," said the mate, "That accounts for the state Of the captain, the purser, and me....

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