Limericks

Limericks

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There was a young sailor named Bates Who did the fandango on skates.
He fell on his cutlass Which rendered him nutless! And practically useless on dates....
There was a young lady of Clewer Who was riding a horse, and it threw her.
A man saw her there With her legs in the air, And seized the occasion to screw her....
And then ther's a story that's fraught With disaster -- of balls that got caught, When a chap took a crap In the woods, and a trap Underneath.
.. Oh, I can't bear the thought!...
There was a young man with a hernia Who said to his surgeon, "Gosh-dernya, When carving my middle Be sure you don't fiddle With matters that do not concern ya.
There was a young man of Khartoum Who lured a poor girl to her doom.
He not only fucked her, But buggered and sucked her -- And left her to pay for the room....
There was an old rake from Stamboul Felt his ardor grow suddenly cool.
No lack of affection Reduced his erection -- But his zipper had just caught his tool....
Asquemish young fellow named Brand Thought caressing his penis was grand, But he viewed with distaste The gelatinous paste That it left in the palm of his hand.
She made a thing of soft leather, And topped off the end with a feather.
When she poked it inside her She took off like a glider, And gave up her lover forever....
A vigorous fellow named Bert Was attracted by every new skirt.
Oh, it wasn't their minds But their rounded behinds! that excited this loveable flirt.!...
There was a young lady from China Who mistook for her mouth her vagina.
Her clitoris huge She covered with rouge And lipsticked her labia minor....

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