Miscellaneous Jokes

Miscellaneous Jokes

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John and Mary were lying in bed one night. John turns to Mary and says "Do you know what's wrong with you?
Your tits are too small and your hole is too tight!" to which she replies "GET OFF MY BAC...
A guy goes to a doctor and says 'i think i got aids' doc says tests'll take a few days come back next week.
..guy comes back and the doc says 'sorry, you got aids' guy says 'oh god, i don't wanna di...
A bear went into a bar and ordered a beer. He gave the bartender a twenty and the bartender went to the other end of the bar to put the money in the register.
The second bartender whispered to the...
A bear walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender replies, "Sorry, we don't serve no beer to no bears in this bar.
The bear asks again and is again told, "We don't serve no beer to no bea...
A young man and woman have only been married for two days.
One night, just as they are getting ready to go to bed, they hear a noise in the backyard, kind of like a vacuum cleaner in reverse....
This guy had three lovely girlfriends, and he couldn't decide which one to marry.
So he gave each of them $500 to see what they would do with the money....
Two men were walking in the park when they came upon this dog that had bent itself into a weird position and was licking its balls.
One man said, "Gee! I wish I could do that." The other man replied...
Two guys wandered into a bar. One of the men shouted to the barkeeper,"Hiya, Mike.
Set 'em up for me and my pal here." Then he turned to his slightly dim partner and boasted, "This is a great bar....
A woman walked into a bar carrying a duck under her arm.
The local drunk saw this and asked, "Say there, whatcha doin' with that pig?...
Three guys - a Frenchman, a German and a Polack, were sitting in a bar.
In walked a mean looking black guy looking for a fight....

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