Best Fortunes

Best Fortunes

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The man who said "A bird in the hand's worth two in the bush" has been putting his bird in the *WRONG* bushes.
THE MX IS GOOD FOR THE ECONOMY.
The other night I was having sex, but the girl hung up on me.
The owner of a large furniture store in the mid-west arrived in France on a buying trip.
As he was checking into a hotel he struck up an acquaintance with a beautiful young lady....
The problem with being best man at a wedding is that you never get a chance to prove it.
The real problem with fucking a sheep is that you have to walk around in front every time you want to kiss her.
The reason we need the MX missile system is that the missiles we currently have in the ground are the Minuteman model, which is very old.
The Defense Department can't even remember where half of th...
The sergeant walked into the shower and caught me giving myself a dishonorable discharge.
Without missing a beat, I said, "It's my dick and I can wash it as fast as I want!...
The Split-Atom Blues Gimme Twinkies, gimme wine, Gimme jeans by Calvin Kline .
.. But if you split those atoms fine, Mama keep 'em off those genes of mine!...
The State of California has no business subsidizing intellectual curiosity." -- Ronald Reaga

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