Best Fortunes

Best Fortunes

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There is a God, but He drinks" -- Blore
There once was a couple named Kelley, Who lived their life belly to belly.
Because in their haste They used Library Paste, Instead of Petroleum Jelly....
There once was a fiesty young terrier Who liked to bite girls on the derriere.
He'd yip and he'd yap, Then leap up and snap; And the fairer the derriere the merrier....
There once was a freshman named Lin, Whose tool was as thin as a pin, A virgin named Joan From a bible belt home, Said "This won't be much of a sin.
There once was a hacker named Ken Who inherited truckloads of Yen So he built him some chicks Of silicon chips And hasn't been heard from since then.
There once was a lady from Exeter, So pretty that men craned their necks at her.
One was even so brave As to take out and wave The distinguishing mark of his sex at her....
There once was a plumber from Leigh, Who was plumbing his maid by the sea, Said she, "Please stop plumbing, I think someone's coming!
Said he, "Yes I know love, it's me....
There once was a queen of Bulgaria Whose bush had grown hairier and hairier, Till a prince from Peru Who came up for a screw Had to hunt for her cunt with a terrier.
There once was a Scot named McAmeter With a tool of prodigious diameter.
It was not the size That cause such surprise; 'Twas his rhythm -- iambic pentameter....
There once was a young man named Gene Who invented a screwing machine Concave and convex It served either sex And it played with itself in between.

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