Best Fortunes

Best Fortunes

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There was a young lady named Hall, Wore a newspaper dress to a ball.
The dress caught on fire And burned her entire Front page, sporting section, and all....
There was a young lady named Twiss Who said she thought fucking a bliss, For it tickled her bum And caused her to come .
iht ekil gniyl ylbatrofmoc elihW...
There was a young lady of Norway Who hung by her toes in a doorway.
She said to her beau "Just look at me Joe I think I've discovered one more way....
There was a young man from Bel-Aire Who was screwing his girl on the stair, But the banister broke So he doubled his stroke And finished her off in mid-air.
There was a young man named Crockett Whose balls got caught in a socket.
His wife was a bitch, And she threw the switch, As Crockett went off like a rocket....
There was a young man of Cape Horn Who wished he had never been born, And he wouldn't have been If his father had seen That the end of the rubber was torn.
There was a young man of St. John's Who wanted to bugger the swans.
But the loyal hall porter Said, "Pray take my daughter!...
There was a young whore from kaloo Who filled her vagina with glue.
She said with a grin, "If they pay to get in, They can pay to get out again too!...
There was an old man of the port Whose prick was remarkably short.
When he got into bed, The old woman said, "This isn't a prick; it's a wart!...
There was an old pirate named Bates Who was learning to rhumba on skates.
He fell on his cutlass Which rendered him nutless And practically useless on dates....

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