Jokes From Emails

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My Son Loves Me Three mothers are sitting on a park bench in Miami Beach talking about how much their sons love them.
Sadie says, "You know the Chagall painting hanging in my living room? My son, Arno...
Trial Trick A defendant was on trial for murder. There was strong evidence indicating guilt, but there was no corpse.
In the defense's closing statement the lawyer, knowing that his client would proba...
Dieting Tips: ** If you eat something and no one sees you eat it, it has no calories.
** If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, the calories in the candy bar are cancelled out by the diet soda....
The Turtle... Deep within a forest a little turtle began to climb a tree.
After hours of effort he reached the top, jumped into the air, waving his legs....
Take Care Of Your Man!!! A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office.
After his checkup,the doctor called the wife into his office alone....
Things you won't see on Hallmark cards: OUTSIDE: As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am INSIDE
hat you're not here to ruin it for me. OUTSIDE: I've always wanted to have someone to hold, someo...
On Second Thought A blind guy on a barstool shouts to the bartender "Wanna hear a blonde joke?
In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something....
Things That Make You Go Hmmmm... * Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
* If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? * Is it OK to use the AM radio after noon?...
When To Go Home A man walks into a bar and asks for a beer.
After drinking it, he looks in his shirt pocket and asks for another beer....
Talk about a typo... A new monk arrives at the monastery.
He is assigned to help the other monks in copying the old texts by hand....

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