The Simpsons

Maude: I just hope they have Us magazine in heaven.
Mrs. S: He said it was his day to use the tub pillow....
Lisa: Mom's police tape isn't a toy, Dad. Homer: Shush, dear.
You'll wreck Daddy's fun. Ned: [walking up, singing] Bringing in the sheaves, bringing in the -- oh my Lord....
Marge: And that's the drunk tank -- Barney: [groaning] Oh -- Marge
and this is Mommy's desk. Lisa...
Lenny: Hey, great news, guys: I picked up a nudie deck for our game.
Homer: [grabs it] "The Girls of the Internet"...ooh, I'd go on-line with them any day!...
Carl: Hey, Homer, are you sure it's OK to smoke Cuban cigars and gamble here now that your wife's a cop?
Homer: Are you kidding? Being a cop husband is one mighty sweet deal! This polic...
Marge: [gasps] Illegal gambling in my house? Moe
_Your_ house? _Your_ house? Gee, it's so glamorously decorated I thought I was in Vegas!...
Marge: [thinking] Everywhere I look, someone is breaking the law.
Dog, no leash. Man, littering. Horse, not wearing diaper....
Marge: Oh, that's it: I'm going to write you a ticket.
Homer: But Marge! We're family. Marge: You're breaking the law....
Wiggum: All right, Simpson, you're free to go. Home
Let me just finish this last lobster tail and raspberry tort....
Marge: I'm sorry I had to arrest you, Homer, but what I did was right.
Some day when you really need it you'll be happy there are dedicated cops like me out there....

164