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Homer: Whatcha doing, Marge? Marge: Making out the jury list for the film festival.
Mayor Quimby, Krusty, Jay [giggles]... Home...
Homer: Look, I know I'm not witty like that critic guy, but does he know _all_ the words to the Oscar Mayer song?
Jay: [walking past, singing] Oh, I wish I were an Oscar Mayer weiner, ...
Smithers: Sir, the actors are here to audition for the part of you.
Burns: Excellent. [Anthony Hopkins is wheeled in restrained a la Hannibal Lecter] Hopki...
Homer: [laughing hysterically] This contest is over!
Give that man the $10,000. Jay: This isn't "America's Funniest Home Videos"....
Barney: Next, they're going to show _my_ movie. Ba
_You_ made a movie? Barney: _I_ made a movie? No wonder I was on the cover of "Entertainment Weekly"....
Woman: It's brilliant: savagely honest, tender...he has the soul of a poet.
Barney: You're very kind. Woman: Excuse me, did something crawl down your throat and die?...
Audience: Boo! Boo! Burns: Smithers...are they booing me?
Smithers: Uh, no, they're saying "Boo-urns! Boo-urns!...
Marge: All right: it's time to vote for the grand prize.
Jay: I vote for Barney Gumbel's sensitive yet unfortunately-titled film, "Pukahontas"....
Jay: Two to two. Well, Homer, it all comes down to you.
Homer: "Football in the Groin". "Football in the Groin"!...
Marge: I knew this would happen. I put you on the jury and you vote for the stupidest film.
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