The Simpsons

The Simpsons

Home › Fortune Cookies › The Simpsons

Homer: How _could_ you?! Haven't you learned anything from that guy who gives those sermons at church?
Captain Whatshisname? We live in a society of laws. Why do you think I took you...
Bart: Man, I thought Mom was going to scream me stupid.
She didn't even raise her voice. Lisa: I admit I haven't known Mom as long as you have, but I know when she's really upset....
Marge: [in Lisa's room] Lisa's on a Sleepy Train To rest her weary head.
Her ticket is a candy cane Made out of gingerbread....
Homer: I've figured out the boy's punishment. First, he's grounded.
No leaving the house, not even for school....
Bart: [hurt] Hey, Mom, you didn't wake me up. Marge
Here's your hot chocolate. Bart: [looking at other cups] You didn't put my marshmallow in....
Bart: Milhouse...do you ever worry that your mom might stop loving you?
Milhouse: What? I'm more worried about pirhanas....
Bart: OK! I won't bug Milhouse. But...well...Mrs.
Van Houten, this is going to sound kind of dumb, but....
Bart: Oh, hey! That's Mom. She's happy again! [runs to the yard] [perturbed] You guys made a snowman family?
Homer: Check it out, boy: it's like looking into a living snow mirror. ...
Bart: [muttering] Stupid family. Nelson: Hey, Simpson, look what I swiped from Try-N-Save
it's a replacement tire for a wheelbarrow....
Lisa: [spraying the Christmas tree] Mom, this fake snow is making me dizzy.
Marge: We're almost finished. There's just a little bit of green left....

< previous

200

201
202
203
204
205
206
207
208
209
654
next >