The Simpsons

The Simpsons

Home › Fortune Cookies › The Simpsons

on phone] Cayman Islands guy: [laughs] I'm sorry, but I cannot divulge information about that customer's secret illegal account.
[hangs up...
Clerk: Sorry, the bank is-- oh, kid. Gosh, I'm sorry, I meant to tell you -- turns out Krusty is one of the biggest tax cheats in history, and they nailed him, all thanks to you.
Some...
Bart: Krusty's my hero. How could I do this to him?
Lisa: It's a tragedy for all us kids, but Bart, you can't beat yourself up....
Krusty: I can't go to jail!! I got a swanky lifestyle.
I'm used to the best. Man 1: Krusty, this is America....
Man 2: It simply means we'll be taking a small portion of your salary until your debt is repaid.
Say, 75% for 40 years. Krusty: But I don't plan to live that long. Man 1: All right. Bette...
Homer: Lesse, I'll have four tax burgers, one IRS-wich, withhold the lettuce, four dependent-sized sodas, and a FICA-ccino.
Kid: Fill out schedule B. You should receive your burgers in six ...
They took my money. They wrecked my show, they buried a bunch of stinking veterans in my family plot.
But at least I got my memories. Those are locked up safe in my fabulous mansion. -- Krusty, "B...
My Grandpa Zev would turn over in his grave if it wasn't filled with some veteran.
-- Krusty when his mansion is foreclosed, "Bart the Fink...
Krusty: Oh, my beloved pornography! I can't watch this anymore.
I'm going to bed. Auctioneer: How much for Krusty's bed?...
Krusty: But I love that plane! I used to fly to Vegas in it with Dean Martin.
One time we were flyin' in it, and the moon hit his eye like a big pizza pie!...

< previous

218

219
220
221
222
223
224
225
226
227
654
next >