Toggle navigation
Collections
Fun
Jokes
Fortune
Photo
Nicknames
Blog
ﻮﺑﻻگ
Iran
The Simpsons
Home
›
Fortune Cookies
›
The Simpsons
God: Thou hast forsaken My Church! Homer: [in fear] Uh, kind-of.
.. b-but... God: But what! Homer: I'm not a bad guy!...
You know, sometimes even <I'd> rather be watching football.
.. -- God chats with Homer about missing church on Sunday, "Homer the Heretic...
God: Does Saint Louis still have a team? Homer: Naw, they moved to Phoenix.
God: Oh. Right....
That Reverend Lovejoy <really> displeases Me. I think I'll give him a canker sore.
-- God, "Homer the Heretic...
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to appear in a tortilla in Mexico.
-- God takes his leave, "Homer the Heretic...
Lisa: Why are you dedicating your life to blasphemy?
Homer: Don't worry, sweetheart. If I'm wrong, I'll recant on my deathbed....
Marge: Reverend Lovejoy, I had a bit of an ulterior motive in inviting you to dinner.
Rev. Lovejoy: [surprised and angry] What!? -- "Homer the Heretic...
Homer: God Himself told me I should seek a new path.
Rev. Lovejoy: [suspicious] Oh, really... Homer: Yeah....
Perfect teeth. Nice smell. A class act, all the way.
-- Homer describes God, "Homer the Heretic...
Rev. Lovejoy: Homer, I'd like you to remember Matthew 7
26. "A foolish man who who built his house on sand....
< previous
...
592
593
594
595
596
597
598
599
600
601
...
654
next >