Miscellaneous Jokes

Miscellaneous Jokes

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A friend was at a mutal friend's sister's house, and when she went out for beer, he changed her answering machine message.
In a loud, deep, gravely, horror-film voice he recorded, "HI, THIS IS KATH...
I worked for a bit in the coastguard in Wales and I used to send weather reports to other bases, using a sort of antique FAX machine.
I would call first on a special telephone and then send the data...
lt;Phone Rings> Noisy pick-up of phone Uh...<wisperingly> Hello?
Hi, I 'm a burgular and I was just about to steal Troy's answering machine....
But right now I'm using "This is a boring answering machine message.
Leave a message anyway....
Must have good Australian accent] G'day mate. Can't come to the phone now because I'm a bit tied up with this crocodile.
Just leave a message, and I'll get back to you....
This is the Literacy Self Test Hotline. After the tone, leave your name and number and recite a sentence using today's vocabulary word.
Today's word is superciliou...
The President is not in his office at this time. Please leave your name, phone number, the name of the country you wish to invade, and the secret password.
Kemosabe no in tipi now. You leave'um message after little smoke signal, and Kemosabe get back for pow-wow real fast.
Also, on the subject of answering machins, my favorite tape wa
"This is Jeff, you're not in now so I'll leave a message." Really confused people....
A bubble in the space-time continuum has connected your line to a channeler in the 23rd Century.
Any message you leave will be broadcast into the future.......

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