Miscellaneous Jokes

Miscellaneous Jokes

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This is not an answering machine -- this is a telepathic thought-recording device.
E'llo." "My name is Inigo Montonya." "You killed my father.
"Leave your name and number, and prepare to die." ...
My favorite that I have heard as an answering machine message is also >from this movie.
My friend recorded the section that goes something like...
The message I currently have on my recorder is the output from my Amiga's speech sythesizer.
It's set up as a dialog between two distict, but recognizably artificial voices....
I taped theoperator saying "we're sorry. The number you have reached has been disconnected or is no longer is service.
.....
From Halloween this year: (Ominous electronic background music.
) Hi, this is Jim. In honor of Halloween, I'm about to perform an unspeakable pagan ritual....
French monologue in the background) Around the world today, millions still speak French as either a first or second language.
But with your continued support and help, we can wipe out French i...
Hi, this is Jim. Welcome to my Fun Phone Line, where you can talk to my answering machine for only $
.95 per minute! Please leave your credit card number at the tone......
Hi, this is Jim. Thanks for calling during my spring pledge drive.
A basic membership is only $30, and a $60 pledge gets you an "I love Jim Shea" T-shirt....
click) "You have reached the CPX-2000 Voice Blackmail System.
Your voice patterns are now being digitally encoded and stored for later use....

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