Miscellaneous Jokes

Miscellaneous Jokes

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b.g. music is frantic, violin oriented] "hello.
you have reached xxx-xxxx. we are currently unable to answer because we are either chasing, or being chased by, bats....
he quiet, eerie vocal part of 'hello, earth' by kate bush] (after about 30 seconds)
hello. you have reached xxx-xxxx. we can't come to the phone right now because we're at vespers....
Spoken in a granny voice) "Way back inna winner of fifty-two, we didn' have fanshy gadjets like no ansherin' machine.
You jusht had to call and call until shummbody got home. Now, shum people, d...
Well, this isn't strictly from an answering machine, but.
.. >From Calvin and Hobbes: (phone rings) (you answer) Hello, this is &l...
I'm home right now . . . I'm just screening my calls.
So just start talking and if you're someone I want to speak to I'll pick up the phone....
In Japan, the hand can be used like a knife. [sound effec
Heeeeee-YAH!, smashing box of kleenex] But this method doesn't work with a telephone call....
Hi, you have reached .... Please leave your name, phone number and a message and if we like it we will return your call".
However, the most effective one I have had so far can be used only one day per yea
This is David....
This is David. Talk.
Hi. This is David. I've shut the ringers off on my phones and taken a sedative.
As soon as I finish this recording I'm going to bed indefinitely....

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