Miscellaneous Jokes

Miscellaneous Jokes

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You have just dialed into the North American Air Defense Contract Center.
Stand by at the tone to give coordinates and destination of incoming bogey....
Sherwood forest, which dear do you want?" "Lucifer speaking, who in the hall do you want?
"Heaven, God speaking." "Bridge, Kirk here." "City Morgue, you kill 'em, we chill 'em...
Thank you for calling Soviet Embassy. No KG...
I've set up my answering machine so that when anyone calls, they here a busy signal.
If you are a burgler, then we are probably at home but can't come to the phone right now Otherwise, we probably aren't at home.
The number you've dialed is purely imaginary, multiply by i and dial again!
This is you-know who. We are you-know-where. Leave your you-know-what you-know-when.
I'm Morley Safer." "I'm Harry Reasoner." "I'm .
....... "And I'm" <the guy whose answering machine it was> " We're not home...
Greetings. You've reached Ghengis Kahn's Pornographic FilmsUnlimited.
Another one I've done more than once is to slowly increase the pitch and speed of my voice while recording the message to make it sound like the machine is broke
(start, low pitch, slow) "Hhhhheee...

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