Miscellaneous Jokes

Miscellaneous Jokes

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Hi, this is ______________...I'm not here anymore because I've committed suicide--so if it's about any money I owe you, I'll see you in Hell!
You have reached (recites number here). No one is available to speak with you right now because we either are not here or don't feel like picking up the phone.
If you are a burglar, we have two hu...
Currently I answer my phone, "Kimona Ackapiecesay!" >From the AT&T commercial where the guy calls Fiji?
I have no clue as to what it means, but it never fails to confuse people....
My answering machine reads, with spooky music in the background, or Bach's Toccata and Fugue in D minor, "Hello.
You have reached xxx-xxxx,otherwise known as the epicenter of the universe. No one...
Friend of mine (Known as "K", to protect the innocent - me, not him!
) has anodd one. Picks up phone, says hello, says K isn't here right now - oh, is that him under the table?...
lt; Lick It...Stuff it in> <Lick it... Stuff it in> &l
Lick it.. Stuff it in> As you can hear, John and Cathy are busy mailing letters, please leave a message at the ton....
in Michelangelo's voice: Hi, dudes, this is 031 343 xxxx.
This is the Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles' secret underground hideaway....
Answering machines. Nowadays almost everyone has one, complete with a snappymessage of their own device.
Wait for the beep and then read on. This is a short adaptation of Simon Butler-White's and C...
Thank you for calling XXX-XXXX. If you wish to speak to Tim push 1 on your touch tone phone now.
If you wish to speak to Lynn push 2 on your touch tone phone now....
I hate these machines, as much as you. But try as we might, the cats just won't do.
The scratches they cause, Holding the phone with their paws, Only leave us feeling lonely and blue....

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