Miscellaneous Jokes

Miscellaneous Jokes

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Use a pretty much regular message but end it with "And, remember, this machine cannot hurt you--over the phone.
Hello. This is Ron's answering machine, Marvin, and I'm *so* depressed.
I have 50,000 times the memory capacity of my owner, yet all I get to do is answer the phone....
Hello, this is Ron's toaster. Ron's new answering machine is in the shop for repairs, so please leave your message when the toast is done .
... {Cachunk!}...
Joe and Fred can't come to the phone now because
Please leave youre name, phone #, time you called, and favorite color of underware.
we'll get back to you if we like the color....
Here's my favorite, for calling large offices and idiots-in-general
"Hello, is this the person to whom I am speaking?...
My solution is upon realizing that I'm talking with a "telemarketing representative", I ask
Are you a telemarketer?" The answer (suprisingly) is usually yes....
And this is the sound the aliens made..." (BEEP!)
waste their time: Have a tape recording of your self going
Yes (pause) uh huh (pause) hmmm (pause) mmm, yeah (pause) ....
Have fun: Ask them very personal or bizare questions.
If it's the opposite sex pretend that you earnestly want to date them....

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