Miscellaneous Jokes

Miscellaneous Jokes

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Q: What's the diff between a pitbull humping your leg and a poodle humping your leg?
A: The pitbull gets to finish....
A wino was waiting for the city bus. He had a sudden, overwhelming, desire to shit.
He looked down the street and saw his bus about five blocks away....
Not drunk is he who from the floor, Can rise alone and still drink more.
But drunk is he who prostrate lies, Without the power to drink or rise!...
Despite acts of great herosim, three British soldiers returned from the Falk- land Islands without being decorated.
Their captain called them into his office to explain. "Bit of a cock-up in the med...
One day St. Peter had to go on some very important business, so he left a minor saint in charge of the Pearly Gates and instructed him to get proof of identity before he let anyone in.
So the mino...
A lady was in the stirrups at her gynecologist's office, having her annual checkup, when she heard the doctor talking to himself as he examined he
"My, what a big vagina! My, what a big vagina!" T...
A polack's house was furiously burning down, surrounded by fire trucks and helpless firemen, and all the polack could do is stand around and laugh, and laugh.
So, his neighbor came over and said, "J...
Once there was a priest who was travelling quite some distance, so he stopped at a convent to seek lodging for the night.
The nuns had an extra room, so they let the father come in and stay until mo...
Q: Why did the elephant cross the road? A: Because the chicken called in sick.
Q: What kind of bat can't fly? A: A bat-man.

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