Quotations - Old

Quotations - Old

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Q: How do you tell if you're making love to a nurse, a schoolteacher, or an airline stewardess?
A: A nurse says: "This won't hurt a bit." A schoolteacher say...
Q: How do you tell that your roommate's gay? A: When his cock tastes like shit.
Q: How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None. The Universe spines the bulb, and the Zen master stays out of the way....
Q: How many existentialists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Two....
Q: How many hardware engineers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None: "We'll fix it in software." Q: How many software engineers does it take to change a lightbulb?...
Q: How many lesbians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Ten. One to do it, and nine to talk about how gratifying it was without a man....
Q: How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to hold the giraffe and the other to fill the bathtub with brightly colored machine tools....
Q: How much money do you give to a 900 foot Jesus? A: As much as he wants.
Q: If Tarzan was Jewish, and Jane was a princess, what would Cheetah be? A: A fur coat.
Q: What can you use used tampons for? A: Tea bags for vampires.

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