The Simpsons

The Simpsons

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Homer: Ooh, this looks like a nice friendly place. Carla
Sammy, you're too old to go on a date with two twins on the same night you're supposed to marry Diane without Rebecca knowing....
Homer: Wait a minute...there's something bothering me about this place.
[looks around] I know! This lesbian bar doesn't have a fire exit....
Guy: Greetings, good men. Might I trouble you for a drink?
Moe: Oh, get out of here, Homer. Guy: Homer? Who is Homer?...
Homer: The last bar in Springfield...if they don't let me in here, I'm going to have to quit drinking!
Homer's liver: Yay! Homer: Shut up, liver! [punches it] Ow! My liver hu...
Man: We need a pilot, pronto! Who wants to fly to the Windy City?
[pilots all go, "Oh, I'll go!", "Me", "I'm your man", etc....
Alan: Hi, I'm Alan. I'm your copilot. Homer: Uh, yeah, uh, hmm.
Er, uh, as a change of pace, I'm going to let you do most of the work....
Official: If word gets out about this, Krazy Klown Airlines will be a laughingstock.
Marge: Er, I don't know, Homer. We're right in the middle of the busy housekeeping season.
Homer: But Marge, you deserve a vacation....
Homer: So, Marge, pretty sweet, eh? Marge: Hmm. Oh, I forgot to clean the lint basket in the dryer.
If someone broke into the house and did laundry, it could start a fire....
Stewardess: [over PA] Attention passengers. Due to our policy of overselling flights, this flight has been oversold.
In accordance with FAA rules, the first two people to the...

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