The Simpsons

The Simpsons

Home › Fortune Cookies › The Simpsons

Lisa: Anyway, my point is, the evidence isn't as concrete as it seems.
Like those fingerprints: they could have gotten on the gun some other way....
Wiggum: Here is a photo of the fugitive from our files.
Burns: Homer Simpson? Homer: So, you finally learned my name, eh?
Burns: [shaking head] Homer Simpson. Homer: [freaked out] I've got no time for your demented parlor games....
Lisa: Stop! Don't shoot my Dad. He's innocent. He wouldn't hurt a fly!
[they open the door] Burns: [being strangled and shaken] Ho-mer Simp-son!...
Burns: Stricken, I lurched forth in search of aid, but finding only slack-jawed gawkers, I gave up and collapsed on the sundial.
Lisa: Then, with your last ounce of strength, you pointed to W...
Marge: Well, I'm just relieved that Homer's safe and that you've recovered and that we can all get back to normal.
If Maggie could talk I'm sure she'd apologize for shooting you. Bu...
Marge: Aren't you glad we got out of the house and came downtown for a little culture?
Homer: Peh. They're butchering the classics. Could that bassoon have come in any more late?...
Homer: Whoa, careful now. These are dangerous streets for us upper- lower-middle class types, so avoid eye contact, watch your pocketbook, and suspect everyone.
Snake: Three-Card Monte....
Snake: Just pick the red card, it's totally not hard.
[shuffles them a bit] Homer: Twenty on this one, my good man....
Wiggum: Cuff him, boys. We're putting this dirtbag away.
Snake: Huh! I'll be back on the street in 24 hours....

< previous

162

163
164
165
166
167
168
169
170
171
654
next >