The Simpsons

Bart: Come join us, Lisa. It's so cool: you get to stay up all night drinking blood.
Milhouse: And if you say you're a vampire, you get a free small soda at the movies....
Homer: Bart! How many times have I told you not to bite your sis -- [gasps] Wait a minute!
You _are_ a vampire! Abe: Quick! We have to kill the boy!...
Homer, we've got to do something. Today, he's drinking people's blood.
Tomorrow, he could be smoking!...
Lisa: The only way to get Bart back is to kill the head vampire
Mr. Burns! Homer: Kill my boss? Do I dare to live out the American dream?...
This is dangerous. I wish we could have found a sitter for Maggie.
..} -- Marge, on a quest to kill Vampire Burns, "Treehouse of Horror IV...
I'm a vampire, and I've come to suck your blood! [His false fangs fall out and he crashes into the refrigerator] Oh!
[weakly] This cape is giving me a rash. -- Fearsome Vampire Abe, "Treehouse of...
Lisa: Grandpa's a vampire? Bart: We're all vampires!
Lisa: But, no! We killed Mr. Burns -- Homer: You have to kill the _head_ vampire....
Ooh! The Springfield Men's Shelter is giving away sixty soiled mattresses!
-- Homer reads the "FOR FREE" section of the paper, "Bart's Inner Child...
Homer: Oh my God! Lisa: What is it? Homer: Tramapoline!
Trampopoline! [runs out] Bart: He said what now?...
Krusty: You here for the trampoline? Homer: Yeah. What's the deal?
Krusty: Well, I used to do a lot of tumbling in my act, but I'm phasing it out for more dirty limerick...