The Simpsons

The Simpsons

Home › Fortune Cookies › The Simpsons

Ned: Well sir, just apply a smidgen of peanut butter to an ordinary pinecone and you've got yourself a makeshift bird feeder, sir!
Bart: I'm outta here, man. [starts to leave] Ned: OK, now eve...
Moe: {When I say, "Put your beer on a coaster," I mean it!
} Hans: {You call that a knife? This is a knife!...
Don't do what Donny Don't does"...[sighs] They could have made this clearer.
-- Bart reads a knife safety book, "Boy Scoutz 'N the Hood...
Homer: [scoffing] Well, if it isn't the leader of the wiener patrol, boning up on his nerd lessons.
Marge: Homer, you should be more supportive. Homer: You're right, Marge. Good work, boy. [...
Here you go: your rubber training knife. You've attained the rank of "pussy willow"!
Ned: {Howdely-hey, Camper Bart. Ready for today's meeting?
} Bart: {You knowdely-know it, Neddy.} Ned: {Okily dokily....
Ned: Our annual father-son rafting trip is next weekend.
Bart: [thinking] Oh no, me bring Homer on a rafting trip?...
Ned: Oh, Warren, I know your dad is in prison, but don't you fret!
A special celebrity dad has been arranged for you....
Homer: How was jerk practice, boy? Did they teach you how to sing to trees?
And build crappy furniture out of useless wooden logs?...
Bart: [to himself] Look, Homer won't want to go, so just ask him and he'll say "No.
Then it'll be his fault. Home...

< previous

27

28
29
30
31
32
33
34
35
36
654
next >