The Simpsons

The Simpsons

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It's funny 'cause it's true. -- Homer laughs at a stand-up routine, [inside joke alert!
] "Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandme...
I have an announcement to make: The Simpsons have cable!
-- Homer's important announcement, "Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandme...
Marge: Homer, we've talked about cable before. You really think we can afford it?
Homer: Nothing a month? Yeah, I think we can swing that....
Myth: It's only fair to pay for quality first-run movies.
Fact: Most movies shown on cable get two stars or less and are repeated ad nauseum....
TV: Hear Me Roar, the Network for Women. In the next half-hour, we'll show you how to cut your first-aid bill in half by making your own band-aids.
Marge: Ooh, that's a good idea. TV...
Homer: Ooh, pro wrestling from Mexico. You know, down there, it's a &l
eal> sport. ... Bart: Ooh, this is where Jaws eats the boat....
Rev. Lovejoy: Now, today's Christian doesn't think he needs God.
He thinks he's got it made. He's got his hi-fi....
Miss Allbright: Today's topic will be Hell. Kids: Ooh.
Bart: All right. I sat through Mercy and I sat through Forgiveness....
Miss Allbright: Hell is a terrible place. Maggots are your sheet, worms your blanket, there's a lake of fire burning with sulfur.
You'll be tormented day and night for ever and ever. A...
Marge: So, what did you children learn about today?
Bart: Hell. Homer: Bart! Bart: But that's what we learned about....

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