Ways things would be different if Microsoft was headquartered in
South Carolina:
Their #1 product would be Microsoft Winders
Instead of an hourglass icon you'd get an empty beer bottle
Occasionally you'd bring up a window that was covered with a
Hefty bag
Dialog boxes would give you the choice of "Ahh-ight" or "Naw"
Instead of "Ta-Da!", the opening sound would be Dueling Banjos
The "Recycle Bin" in Winders '95 would be an outhouse
Whenever you pulled up the Sound Player you'd hear a digitized
drunk redneck yelling "Freebird!"
Instead of "Start Me Up", the Winders '95 theme song would be
Achy-Breaky Heart
PowerPoint would be named "ParPawnt"
Microsoft's programming tools would be "Vishul Basic" and
"Vishul C++"
Winders 95 logo would incorporate Confederate Flag
Microsoft Word would be just that: one word
New Shutdown WAV: "Y'all come back now!"
Instead of VP, Microsoft big shots would be called "Cuz"
Hardware could be repaired using parts from an old Trans Am
Microsoft Office replaced with Micr'sawft Henhouse
Four words: Daisy Duke Screen Saver
Well, the first thing you know, old Bill's a billionaire
Spreadsheet software would include examples to inventory dead
cars in your front yard
Flight Simulator replaced by Tractor pull Simulator
Microsoft CEO: Bubba Gates